It's already the 12th of Jan 2015 but I finally have time to sit down and reflect on what i did last year. The biggest thing was of course college which hit me real hard. It wasn't easy for me to get used to everything especially getting new friends when I came here all by myself. Never good at making the first move. eventually after a few weeks things got better and more bearable. I was able to have small chats with my classmates between classes and also lunch break. Everything was constantly getting better until spm resutls was released. Was worst than the worst I've expected. Not was i having a hard time getting through it and trying my best to accept the fact and have some self-comforting, i was also trying hard to get some shit together. I had some problems on traveling to college and so I've moved in to the apartment opposite college. Wasn't an easy decision but I made it at the end. Never in my life that I've expected to move out before I even turned 18. The amount of discipline needed was beyond what I have. I've learned that nobody's gonna wake you up in the morning to get ready for 8am class, nobody's doing your laundry for you when you're out of clothes, nobody's gonna wake you up from your nap for dinner if you overslept, nobody's gonna remind you to complete your homework, to study, to print your handouts and worksheets. Because you'll be the only person there for yourself. No matter what.
2014, how many friendships have I encounter problems with. Yet I still can't decide if I should be the one who makes the effort to get things back or let things be because it wasn't my fault. What a shame. Also I finally came to realize how important it is to study hard for my future, to work really really hard. It's a mistake that I want to correct this year. Friends around have been getting offers from universities and I didn't even apply to any. Being clueless about which course to choose is a thing itself but not achieving results to apply is my fault for not studying hard enough. There are so much more to do yet I only noticed just recently.
2015, what resolutions do I have? I haven't really thought about it. But studying hard and obtaining good results to end A-levels a different way from spm will be the main goal at the moment. As for choosing my career I'll leave till results are released in less than two weeks time. Nonetheless I hope college won't be as lonely as it is now, make more friends and gain new experiences. And not to forget, shed of some pounds.
I want to look back at 2015 and be able to say " it was certainly better than 2014"
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