Thoughts.

I'm probably very emotional right now. Still controlling my tears, I don't want it to drop. I know it's not wrong to cry but still, it makes me look weak. I have no idea why, I'm acting weird these days. Friends have been asking if there's something wrong going on. To be honest, I don't even know how to answer. I can't say yes nor no. I'm not sure what kind of feeling I'm going through right now. I don't even understand myself. People say my face looks tired and very intense.

I'm very tired of my job and my duties right now. I know it's my responsibility and I cannot give up. It's this path that I've chosen and I must do it till the very end. No matter how tired I will get, no matter how tough it is, no matter what problems occurs, I still have to make my way there. Others are counting on me, which is such pressure that I cannot handle it well. I break down very easily.

I always feel that I mess up things, I'm just so clumsy. I cannot do things orderly, I feel that I'm just still too childish. I feel that I am not mature enough to handle huge things. I just doubt myself too much sometimes. And others say that my expectations are too high... I don't really agree with them. I never expect high, I just want things to be perfect. Just perfect, not perfect perfect.

I still cried. I am going too. I should release it out. Hiding in my blanket tonight. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.